mesmerising

Today went out with my baby julius;) and ber with michelle(: was pretty fun at vivo. everyone were thanking each other in the end of the day, for the great company(: hahaha... julius was having nothing to do, and he only wanted to get his shoe at vivo.. so accompanied him to vivo to get his shoe(: at the meantime, calling ber and michelle to meet after michelle's work... then i sat at the sky garden with julius waiting for ber to come... and introduce her and michelle to him(: well, was pretty sad to listen to julius's love story... and i felt the pain when he turn his eyes away once after he said a sentence... i can see how depressed he was... sigh... sometimes the girl just feel the sincerity and how she's being appreciated... and in the end, giving up the guy and find someone else... its like why?! sigh...

Real Life Story - written by enming
it was after school, where you walk out of school with him and boarded a cab, and i was standing quite a distance away, knowing that you're boarding the cab and yet unable to stop you... the cab went pass me... i saw him leaning towards you and kiss you at your cheeks... how would you feel when someone you loved for 5 years in fact more, is being kissed by some other guy? and you stood there like an idiot, stun... hesitated... where sweet memories just shatters into pieces... the cards and photos that we took, the sweet convincing words you wrote in the cards to me to tell me how you feel towards me on my birthday... and i use to read them when i miss you... when i think of you... before the lights are off...

when i found out about you are really attached, i felt simply disappointed and heartbroken. i still remember before the above incident happened... when i was about go home, wanted to sms you to ask you out for movie and dinner, and as i stepped onto the escalator down to take my train, i saw you coming from the opposite direction... you were with this guy... it was who i saw after a long time later, the same guy who boarded the cab with you... you saw me alone, you wave at me, and i wave back... yet, i just didn't want to look more and went home... deleting the message that i was typing at that time... when i reach home, you sms me, telling me not to think wrongly about you and the guy... why did you explain? wads your purpose? wad are you trying to tell me? in the end, i still believe you...

and now, as i see anything along the streets, the places and things that i use to be with you and do with you... i would think of you... have you ever think of how i felt when you did that? how did it affect me? i didn't wanted to tell you my feelings becoz i didn't want to affect your studies... i felt so pain hiding everything in me... listening to the emo songs when i'm alone back home... you're killing the heart inside of me... do you feel my sorrow? i think for you so much, did you think for me? my friend came over to ask me about you that day, after the cab incident, i shut him off straightaway; dun talk to me about her* anymore... and well, throughout these years, none of us wanted to start off with a relationship, i didn't wanted to ask you to be mine becoz i was afraid that if we were together, i might lose you one day... i'm afraid... thats why i plan to be with you after your A level... i even wanted to propose to you after your A level and you said to me after your A level, you have more time to spend with me... but well, its all scrapped by now... i feel that i shouldn't stay on anymore... causing myself such a pain, why not being who i am instead? i would have gone for other girls if i first enter poly, but i didn't... i waited for you for years... but you? halfway, you gave me up... i felt so stupid and dumb to have waited for you... Now, i'll just wait for one day where i can meet you for the last time to tell you how i feel towards you, and perhaps i'll ask you about are you attached... i need a 100% assurance from you... if you tell me Yes about you with the guy together.. then the day we meet, will be the last time i'm gonna see you ever... leaving you now and ever...

Me and julius and ber and michelle with Mr Hog! LOL.

Me and Ber

gay-ish me, julius and michformal!
this photo is well taken... haha.. really cool! hahaa. self-obsessed*

well, i'm pretty upset with the story, and as i listen to it, i took a wrong bus to vivo and reaches bugis then i realised, and yet took a cab to vivo... haha... clever rite?! LOL. hhaha... well, its all worth listening afterall... my heart went sour and bitter while listening to him... looking at him, his eyes were watery... and yet refraining himself from giving out wad is in him... i just pray that he'll be feeling fine when he's alone... be strong and i'm always be your dude;) alright(: cheers(:

all right... nothing about me these days... as i've seen someone close to me, whose situation is even worst than me... i feel his pain.. and i found out how it has hurt... i felt as if i dun want it too... looking at such a situation... made me think back of mine as well... hahah... as i sat down at the sky garden at vivo today for sightseeing... i talk to julius alot... and he said i know wads best for me... and do it wads best for you... he knows that i still can't get over someone quite long ago.. yet i denied... well, to you julius, you should know how i feel.. and how its like if u think about the past... it hurts like shit and i would curse and swear at myself for being stupid too... hahaha... but well, since now, i've made up my mind and changes have been done... i just want my life to be simple... thats all...

mesmerising of you* - the heart that was broken

...signoff...