the day i tot too much...

today went for work from 9.30am till 5pm... went to look for shops with weiric... then went home... thanks weiric for accompanying me to look for my shoe for CNY:) anyway, went home, bath and change into comfortable clothes:) then went out with dad to meet mum and aunt and eldest sister... went shopping with them... dad was talking to me... consulting me i guess.. he say sometimes, things that cannot be accepted... u still have to accept them... well, and he told me about lots of things about religion thing... and he told me to lie to mum whenever i wanna go church... but is this the way i should do? i told my dad... "Pa, why can't i have my own decision made by myself?" i'm reaching 18! and i'm a male! not like sisters... then dad told me that slowly, take time... easy... and somehow he comforted me... he didn't even scream at me for attending church and learning the things that are taught there... and he still talks to me like someone close like a friend... well, i love daddy:) thank you dad...

anyway, dad is always good to me... and he's the best father in my world...

just finish talking to kym*
most of the time listening to her talk...
feeling upset...
tears roll down my cheeks..
and wiping them off...
clicking songs to listen to numb myself...

wad my sense was true... and i was prepared...
i knew this would happen even if she didn't want to talk to me...
i knew...
nvm...
its okiex...
i understand that u suffer... and i shall not let u take the suffer anymore...
just take good care when i'm not around...
i dunnoe i may be able to stay on with you... but, i just say that i'll wait... coz waiting has been a part of my life....
maybe this is wad enming should do...
when the day that u find someone that u think u want to be with and better to be with me... then, that will be the day that i'll stop loving you... but, for now... i know that i will be able to love you coz...

i just receive ur sms... that you'll be able to stay and be there for me... and although things not gonna be forever... i will also tell u that i will love you as long as i can... coz one day i know i'll still have to let u go... and i hope that day will be the day where i step into my coffin... nvm.. i thank you dear lord that u made it possible to make her stay... and i'll continue to love her... thank you kym... i love u...