today was frustrated about myself...

woke up darn early today! went to work this morning at 9.30am... then was quite free... meanwhile, kymm[honey] called... and i wasn't actually able to listen to her call de... but, didn't wanna disappoint my sweets... heex.. so answer her call... then supervisor choon lee saw me and shout at me... then i hang off...

after work, went home and change and went out... went for dinner at Sanur indonesian rest. then mum was asking whether am i praying anot?
i was! but i say i was just closin my eyes...
she wasn't happy...
i pray God to make my mum understand more about Him and dun make her think that dear lord is a scary thing..
had dinner liaoz then went walking around suntec...
came back late becoz have to wait for cab... then was smsing kymm[honey], talking about service and IGNYTE...
was afraid to make her upset again. but i've got more things to do! wad will happen if i say, is it anything mroe important than Him? i'm afraid tat she might tell me this! then i really can't have a choice... well, wasn't feeling comfortable... coz kept worrying... worrying and till now... i feel that i'm having a pressure with God... i dun wish to... i love Him & kymm as well... i shall try my best to do things accordingly and
i wish i'm in a free world now...
where in a world of the only things i want to see...
just continue praying...
dear lord... i pray that you'll make things work out easy for me... coz i think i'll collapse if things keep rushing towards me... i'm weak... and i can't hold on if this continue... i just pray that you'll be able to help me thru everything...

worrys:
-O level results
-Kym's unhappiness
-not responsible to the things i tot of doing...
-mum's disapproval of going to service...

i just want to make everyone happy.... but, i always end up making them unbalanced...

i just seek for understanding... life has not been easy... Exhausted now, just need ur shoulder to lean on... someone to hold tightly and relax...


that day went for a movie with kymm[honey], met her church frenx but didn't want to let them think that we're together... please dun take kymm away from being a SP... well, if she's really gonna get stripped from being a SP, i'll tell them dun do it.. and i rather not let her take the risk of being with me the moment... please dun make things difficult for her and upset her... i dun want this to happen... and i hope she'll be finex:) thank you dear lord after all.. i feel a bit better saying things out her and sending sms thru internet to you my honey, i feel better, although afraid that when i switch on my phone, wad message will i received... i dun know... well, guess thats all for today...

i love everyone and i want to make everyone happy:) including you...