very exhausted...

yesterday went to training... after that met babe, i remain silent all the while... and she find her way thru talking to me with the topic, i tot i wouldn't hear... i still dun know whether if its true anot... but i feel that i should trust her... then she was unhappy over me... then went walking out of a place and hold me tight to the open area of raffles place mrt station... but i still remain silent... then i told her, i'm not angry with her, but i really dun know wad to say becoz i'm afraid when i say something, i regret saying things out... or i will regret if i say it wrongly... so its better to keep quiet... and i know that she was pissed after that... so, she walked off... i followed her at her back... and as she walk down to basement of the shopping mall, i didn't follow down... instead, i waited at the 1st floor... then after awhile, i went up the 2nd story and wait to see wad will she do... and she called... she say she had enough of it... and thats the end of it... goodbye... and she left... well, at that spur moment, my tears roll down from my eyes to the floor of the basement as i was standing against the railings of the floor facing down the basement... i stood there numb and still... not knowning wad to do... and i just left the place half an hour later... well, then walk back to mrt, took back to marina bay and sat in the train and kept quiet... was closing my eyes all the way, perhaps just dun wanna cry... hahaha... so stupid rite? lols... yeah i am... i know... anyway, it was my decision of not to follow down and instead went up to second floor... i felt bad...

then next day, read an email send by babe... her photo made me smile... becoz she's just so nice... and she explains to me why she takes up the job... then i somehow understand bahz... but my heart dun... it keeps giving me uncertainty... so, i just said that i dun wanna talk about it and i'll try again to give the best that i can again... becoz i find that she really is a nice girl... and she's the girl that every guy would want to be with... and so nice that any guy would fall for... including me... hahas... but she was still very patient with me after all... she gave me another chance... how nice is it for her to be.... well, i feel very disappointed with myself...

today, went to send sister off at airport, then went to vivo city with relatives all, and shop for cousin's clothes... then went to look at the sea... it was blur becoz of the haze... it was foggy all the way and the smell of the haze really made me sicker... well, i had dizziness yesterday nite which made me went to to loo to puke for a few times, and doctor say i was too weak and unable to take the haziness... he said did i went out to exercise at nite, and yes i did... he warn me not to:( becoz at nite was the most foggy haze period and i would die if i kept breadthing vigorously... so i listen to him, and i didn't went to jog tonite... but instead i run from 1st story to 18th story of my flat;) heex:) good idea dun u think so? well, although still got the smell of the haze, but not so much lahz... so manage to feel better now, maybe becoz of the antibotics bahz:) well, now going to sleep le... just hope that tml will be better as the haze will be gone... pray tat the air around S.E.A will be once clean and green like before... now the P.S.I is 1.05 leh! DANGER guys! must drink lots of water;)

and baby, i love you really a lot... and dun think that i love you just like nothing at all... but seriously, i do... i dun know how to talk so much becoz i realise i use to say hurtful words.. and i'm trying to talk nicely now... and i'm trying... i'll figure out ways to phrase my sentence... so please be patient with me.. i'm just sorry... and hope that u're getting well also... need to drink lotsa water... i love my baby and i'm sorry to her mummie:( goodnite and god bless them...





"wo tian tian ye ye dou zhai xiang zhe ni..."