coz it seems that you don't know how to think what's really best for you...

hie people, i'm sorry that i'm having my exams these few days... so can't manage to blog that often... but will manage to blog for today...

today, had my 1st exams when school starts... it COS, computer operating system... had problems answering the questions and also feeling little upset about how i did... then went to J8 to study maths with zhen jie and shannon... Until 5pm, where i was smsing honey(kym) over the phone... and she wasn't happy and i felt that i shouldn't have made her lonely, and i wanted to apologise, so i ask her wad she wants then? she said: " i want ice cream!!!!" So, i decided to walk to her house becoz my bus concession was no longer valid... and then, waited at her house for almost half and hour:) but its okiex:) i end up sitting down to study a bit on the stone table and chairs at her void deck... then a few mins later, she appeared... then we went to get ice cream:) i got ice cream for her:) knowing that she haven't ate her lunch, so was asking if she wants to have lunch there anot... but she shook her head... well, nvm:) then went to wander around the neighbourhood without talking much becoz was feeling upset about how i did in my exams at noon... but later went back to her house, but kaka( her maid) wasn't at home, she went to fetch christoper(kym's little brother)... and so we went back to the stone chair to sit down and wait...

later in the evening, finally, they came back and honey can finally reach home comfortably:) then was listening to chris singing Micheal Jackson's Man in The Mirror:) he sang well:) and honey too:)) then auntie came back... honey didn't want to talk to me for that moment when we both are in her room... she kept keeping quiet... so i tried to cheer her up:) until very long, she then start smiling:) but i have to go le... i'm very late.... i have to reach home by 7 plus... but reach home at 8pm.... mum didn't scold me... becoz i told her i walk home becoz i didn't have any bus fare... so have to walk home...

before i left home, auntie talk to me about me and my mum:) she was understanding and she talk to me awhile... and even if its just a while... i feel its enough to fill my heart with warm and touched feelings... thank you dearest auntie:)

then reach home and bath, and had dinner... well, after that had to start studying my maths for tml... and halfway thru... honey smsed... and so i decided to go online to talk to her...

am i letting someone feel being left aside and not care about the person? am i so cruel? and she told me she's going to find someone special during this few days that can keep her companied and talk to... well, at first i didn't mind letting her meeting the guy... but when she called the guy's name to me... my heart shivered... becoz its so long, that she have never call me sweet names... but i didn't mind... becoz its just name... i just want her to treat me as nice as possible is enough le... but wad happen next was... she said, " at the end of the day, maybe i'll just find out something that i haven't, something that i' haven't realised." wad i sense was that is she trying to tell me that she's gonna leave me when my exams are over? is she trying to tell me that she's leaving me like tat? i really have no idea... but wad kept me worrying was that is everything gonna end just like that? and these are all wad my mind trying to tell me...

i found out i was wrong... very... i found out i was really wrong.... after some wad she just said.....